And so it has been decided...

We are adopting!

Only becauseMr. P gets 12 weeks of paternity leave for adoption versus 1 week for his other half (that's me ahem!) actually giving birth to one.

I wonder if I get 12 weeks without going through the whole being pregnant drama. If so, I second the decision wholeheartedly!

Imagine 3 months worth of holiday without blood, sweat and tears. That's the life.


P.S. I already have 2 baby names in mind; and so before anyone else claim them, here is my announcement:

Boy - Kieran
Girl - Clover

Nuptials

Back in the day, I used to think one day I will walk down the aisle and be given away by my father in a garden/beach shenanigan; complete with the designer gown, bridesmaids and groomsmen – the whole shebang. Even up till earlier this year, I was asking if Shan would like to be my maid of honour.

Being the true pragmatic queen that I am (obvs), I have shelved those money-wasting gimmicks promoted by wedding industry – very much like my attitude towards Valentines. Okay, I lied. Admittedly, it was the thought of the potential logistical nightmare (too many people from too many countries) and costs (banqueting, hotels, flights) that we have to deal with that burst my big fat Irish/Asian nuptial dream.

Plus I think I am too selfish to indulge in others. What is the point of spending crazy money on a dress you’ll only wear once (Honey, you don’t have to reuse your old tux) and a massive reception for relatives you haven’t spoken to in years / friends you aren’t particularly close to anymore / colleagues you don’t even like? It will end up being a pissed up party and guess what people may not even remember what I wore (oh the horror). And by the end of the festivities instead of engaging in lovely twosome activities as newlywed, I am sure Mr. P and I may not even be on talking terms (with all that stress – me; all that booze – him).

You see, Mr. P is a very lucky man.

I do not need Vera Wang gowns (just Christian Louboutin heels thank you very much) nor do I need a banquet at the <insert Fullerton or Raffles Hotel>. I have also given up a NY photo shoot with Kelvin Koh (SGD 9,000). Though I always believe in the picture cliché (as in it tells a thousand words), the value of capturing one moment of happiness pales in comparison with a lifetime’s worth.

He only needs to plan one thing – the Honeymoon (it better be good baby, just kidding).

However, bits of me are I guess still very traditional. Especially when it comes to having children, I happen to be annoyingly backwards. I do not want a kid born out of wedlock, even if it means saying ‘I do’ in the delivery room. I digress.

So darling, if you want me, give me a continent (I am short of South America and Antarctica)!

P.S. : I do not have anything against people who want the big wedding and I would love to be invited to a lovely wedding with 200 other people (I am not being sarcastic, promise). I am just not keen on being the event organizer. Apologies if anyone is offended.

P.P.S.: Shan, if you are reading this, please do the whole Vera Wang dress and wedding thing so I can be a part of your wedding party :)

Of the 'I love you's

In my juvenile days, I used to think the first utterance of those 3 magical words signalled the end of the romance. For surely, one party (me) might not quite feel the same intensity and would take off in the opposite direction before one was shot the expectant look of reciprocation.

On rare occasions when I do indulge the other party, it hardly meant more than just an automated response. Some years later, I felt that frequent use seemed to cheapen the phrase and made the one who said it looked clingy. For a long time, declarations of 'I love you' brought disastrous consequences.

Well, back then I didn't have that someone I feel right to say those little words to. Now that I am all grown up, Mr. P and I go through the phrase approximately 3,239,390 times a day - verbally, via emails and texts.

Mr. P has a bad crash during wakeboarding.
Miss J: I still love you baby

Miss J has a bad face plant
Mr. P: I love you even if your nose is crooked

Miss J is bored at work and calls Mr. P
Miss J: (singing) I just called to say I love you

Initially our proclamations were rather gagged worthy (since we say it every where). Eventually everyone got used to them; our wakeboarding crew has even started saying it to one another all the time now. Do I think our actions belittle the feelings associated with those words? No.

I have come to realised when you are in a loving, committed relationship, letting each other know verbally how much the other person means to you is as important as physically expressing your affections through actions. They are not mutually exclusive and so Mr. P and I drops it like it's hot all the time ;p

What I am proposing goes against the dating norm; those rules and mind games - no sex till 3rd date / don't call till the 3rd day / don't sound too eager, etc. Life is too short to be wasted on ambiguity. May as well get the hard part (letting the other party know how you feel and learning if the other party feels the same, if he/she doesn't move on!) over with and spend what little time you have living.

Go on then, stop playing games. If you love somebody, tell them; proclaim it to the world and be proud.

P.S. Even my mommy says 'I love you' every time I call home. If an old dog can learn a new trick, what are you waiting for?

It shows...

When two people are truly in love, it shows.

"Hey Miss J was lovely to see you Friday. You look radiant. So happy for you and Mr. P. You found your soulmate. He's a great guy! Hope you had a good weekend. XXX"

I received the above SMS message from a girlfriend last night. I don't think I've ever heard that said about my previous relationships.

Aww... It must be love love love!

The lovely things Miss J does

Being the organised one, Miss J has started to map out our holidays for 2009. Given that I need to see 1 new country each year she has even arranged an itinerary to New Zealand ... somewhere she has been before .... 1 of the many reasons I love her.


Apr 4
Auckland à Queenstown (flight NZD 250 total)
Dep: 2.25pm Arrive: 4.15pm

Apr 5
Queenstown
White Rafting
Queenstown à Te Anau

Apr 6
Te Anau - Milford Sound (116km/1hr 41min)Milford Sound Cruise
Milford Sound - Te Anau (116km/1hr 41min)

Apr 7
Te Anau - Queenstown ( 174km/2hr 32min)Hang Gliding / Sky diving

Apr 8
Queenstown - Franz Josef (392km/5hr 41min)
Climb the glaciers

Apr 9
Glaciers to Greymouth (179km/2hr 30min)
Coastal roads / breweries in Greymouth

Apr 10
Greymouth à Christchurch (Tranzalpine Rail / 1.45pm to 6.05pm)

Apr 11Christchurch à Kaikoura (188km/2hr 46min)
Whale Watching

Apr 12
Kaikoura à Picton (156km/2hr 15min)
Picton à Wellington (Ferry / 3hr 20min)

Apr 13
Wellington à Auckland (flight NZD140 total)


Now I just need to persuade my boss to give me the time off !!
Mr P.

Bucking a trend

In 2008, Mr. P and I have only been without each other for a grand total of 6 nights and this doesn't look to be increasing as the year winds down. In the preceeding year (since I moved in), we were separated for just 5 nights.

Aren't we sick of each other yet? No. On the contrary. He and I are starting to look like the First Couple of Pickled Pelican (and the running joke is he'll probably propose on the front steps); sickeningly sweet to the point of making everyone around us gag (hahaha).

So what's with the blab about couples needing their own space; leading separate lives; taking vacations with friends?

I am not questioning the good judgement of the above actions, afterall we shouldn't put all our eggs in one basket (just in case). On the flipside, those are also good tools to avoid complacency in a relationship - spending alone time may make a person miss their partner, etc. (I am not making a convincing argument because my experience has shown that less time together = I don't need a partner.)

But Mr. P and I are not built that way. And no, the 2 of us don't just do 'couple things'. Mr. P and I get out with mates together; he and I go on holiday with family and friends together; 2 of us do sports and work drinks together, etc.

The active word here is together not we - despite spending all the free time with each other, I am still my own person and so is he. He helps to nurture, support and encourage me and my interests; vice versa.

Ahh... love!

What love is?

Sweetie pie,

I love that fact that you are assertive, would I want a pushover ... no thank you very much. You always have my best interests at heart, even when I don't, and push me to make myself a better person. You teach me things and you complement my personality ..... I wouldn't change you for anything.

I love you
xxx

Words...

... can be the deadliest weapons we weld when we use them carelessly. They leave wounds that scar even when the author (or speaker) is long gone.

Yet when infused with love, they are worth more than the weight of gold.

His hello was the end of her endings

Her laugh was their first step down the aisle

His hand would be hers to hold forever

His forever was as simple as her smile

He said she was what was missing

She said instantly she knew

She was a question to be answered

And his answer was "I do"

- Carrie, Sex and the City

Serendipity

Abridged version

He interviewed her for a job and found her as his soulmate.


The actual events
Miss J was scheduled for an interview on May 3rd 2007 with Mr. P. She was in her sure-fire-sexy-intellectual-give-her-a-job outfit and 4-inch Aldo shoes; dressed to impress. But boy did things get off on the wrong foot.

He stood her up.
(Mr. P, to this day, insists that it was an honest mistake - he was in the midst of moving apartments and his schedule got mixed up. Oh and he says that was the one and only interview he has ever missed.)

They finally met the next day and sparks (not the good kind) flew. Miss J was still annoyed with the lack of professionalism exhibited by this man and could not be arsed to pull together a charming-good-for-interview-personality. Plus she gets grouchy when she is hungry and she was extremely hungry having not had breakfast that day. The tension in the room could cut glass.

Mr. P: Let's say this manual, procedural part makes up 70% of your day, would you consider the job?
Miss J: No. (Silence, no explanation, no nothing but wondering if he shapes his eyebrows. They are too perfect she had thought to herself.)
Mr. P: (Laughing inwardly, he thought she was hysterical)

She was at her assertive best and unbeknownst to her then, he likes strong people. He offered her the job two hours later, and she had the weekend to consider the proposition.

Monday morning over coffee with her recruitment consultant, she expressed her desire for another meeting with Mr. P to iron out details of the role (no agenda, at least none that she was concious of). The next day, they met again with Miss J back to personable and attractive self. (Cutting out the boring lunch meeting details) he invited her to drinks that night with 'The Team'.

"I doubt I can make. We usually don't finish P&L till nine at least," she said.
"Here's my mobile," he replied, handing her his namecard with a roughly scribbled number. "Give us a call when you are done, we could still be out."

She thanked him and left, brushing off the invitation mentally.

Seven o’clock rolled around and Miss J discovered there was only India left to sign off. Could it be that the stars have aligned just so she could meet her future team for drinks? After eight consecutive days (monthend) of pulling near twelve-hour shifts at work, she was done with work at half seven on this fateful Tuesday evening!

Throwing all caution out the window, she decided to ring Mr. P up. This is HK after all, there are no rules.

“Good to hear from you, come by to The Pub,” the voice on the other end said. “We are sitting outside.”

As she walked along Chater Road to her destination, she mumbled to herself, “Why the hell did I phone?” Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she crossed the street and walked towards Mr. P.

Mr. P looked up as Miss J was crossing the road towards them in her flowy silk blend classic shift dress and was captivated by her beauty. “Wow,” he thought. “She is hot.” (In Mr. P's own words: he then proceed to sneak peeps at her boobies down her scooped neckline all night.)

Turns out, ‘The Team’ was only Mr. P and another colleague, KC (who incidentally became my manager when he left the firm).

Some time later, KC had to go home to her fiancé and against my better judgment I carried on with Mr. P boozing till the wee hours of the night (she got home at 4am).

Having been emboldened by the amount of alcohol she had imbibed, Miss J demanded that he gave her a week off so that she ‘could do New York”.

“I’ll take you.”
“You’re drunk but okay.”

A month to the day, they got on a Virgin Atlantic flight on route to New York – London – Ireland. The rest as they say is history.

This is our story

In the grand scheme of things, we are eloping.

But not without bells and whistles of course. And so I've created (since he is not that technically inclined) this little piece of the WWW to commemorate our journey from the throes of Causeway Bay to wherever-our-nuptials-maybe.