Nuptials

Back in the day, I used to think one day I will walk down the aisle and be given away by my father in a garden/beach shenanigan; complete with the designer gown, bridesmaids and groomsmen – the whole shebang. Even up till earlier this year, I was asking if Shan would like to be my maid of honour.

Being the true pragmatic queen that I am (obvs), I have shelved those money-wasting gimmicks promoted by wedding industry – very much like my attitude towards Valentines. Okay, I lied. Admittedly, it was the thought of the potential logistical nightmare (too many people from too many countries) and costs (banqueting, hotels, flights) that we have to deal with that burst my big fat Irish/Asian nuptial dream.

Plus I think I am too selfish to indulge in others. What is the point of spending crazy money on a dress you’ll only wear once (Honey, you don’t have to reuse your old tux) and a massive reception for relatives you haven’t spoken to in years / friends you aren’t particularly close to anymore / colleagues you don’t even like? It will end up being a pissed up party and guess what people may not even remember what I wore (oh the horror). And by the end of the festivities instead of engaging in lovely twosome activities as newlywed, I am sure Mr. P and I may not even be on talking terms (with all that stress – me; all that booze – him).

You see, Mr. P is a very lucky man.

I do not need Vera Wang gowns (just Christian Louboutin heels thank you very much) nor do I need a banquet at the <insert Fullerton or Raffles Hotel>. I have also given up a NY photo shoot with Kelvin Koh (SGD 9,000). Though I always believe in the picture cliché (as in it tells a thousand words), the value of capturing one moment of happiness pales in comparison with a lifetime’s worth.

He only needs to plan one thing – the Honeymoon (it better be good baby, just kidding).

However, bits of me are I guess still very traditional. Especially when it comes to having children, I happen to be annoyingly backwards. I do not want a kid born out of wedlock, even if it means saying ‘I do’ in the delivery room. I digress.

So darling, if you want me, give me a continent (I am short of South America and Antarctica)!

P.S. : I do not have anything against people who want the big wedding and I would love to be invited to a lovely wedding with 200 other people (I am not being sarcastic, promise). I am just not keen on being the event organizer. Apologies if anyone is offended.

P.P.S.: Shan, if you are reading this, please do the whole Vera Wang dress and wedding thing so I can be a part of your wedding party :)